Borderlined?

Well.. I finally figured out what I was: AUTISTIC (Duh!)- Depressed (Duh!), Anxious (Double Duh!) and finally, there was something new added to the pot.

They have diagnosed me with “BPD”(Borderline Personality Disorder).

I have heard of Boderline, but I never really understood it.

My personality, thank god, was not diagnosed with “Multiple” — (due to me being a writer, I tend to “narrate” my stories out loud as I write), but with a “Dependancy” -which basically meant that I didn’t like being alone. No, I never have, and I guess it surprised a doctor? They assumed that all Autistic women, like being in solitude. Nope, not this gal. I prefer to be around people. Though I do like my alone time, I do prefer being with people, it makes me a little more comforted.

Sadly, I guess my Personality, is dependant and when I looked up the definition of Boderline Personality Disorder..

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health condition that can cause a variety of symptoms, including:

• Emotional instability
• People with BPD may experience intense, overwhelming emotional pain, anxiety, or self-recrimination.
• Mood swings
• People with BPD may experience frequent, dramatic mood swings, such as sudden anger, outbursts, or fighting.
• Self-image
• People with BPD may have an inaccurate view of themselves, or their self-image may change.
• Relationships
• People with BPD may have unstable relationships with family and friends, or experience quick changes in feelings about others.
• Impulsive behaviors
• People with BPD may engage in impulsive behaviors, such as spending sprees, substance abuse, reckless driving, or binge eating.
• Self-harm
• People with BPD may engage in self-harm behaviors, such as cutting.
• Suicidal ideation
• People with BPD may experience recurring thoughts of suicidal behaviors or threats.

All of those..sadly, ARE ME.

I am not sure how to even handle this? But hey, it’s not Bi-Polar, which doctors have diagnosed me as… sadly.

But, with this, I can now understand myself a little better?

Why I have body image issues or why I have this? or Why I have that?

It makes sense now, it’s odd?

Maybe I have something to figure out?

I’m not sure?