“You Have a Problem? Talk To Me”
As I’m writing the Bonita Granville biography, there’s so much that I’m discovering about Bonita and reading different stories about her.
She did this interview in the 1960’s. One of the questions was “How do you deal with bad publicity?” Her answer was this and I’ll explain what she meant in a moment:
“If you have a problem with me, talk to me about it. Be a man or a woman and discuss it with me. I don’t want to hear it from a third party, because if I do, you don’t know me well enough to have a problem with me.” I really loved this quote and I knew what she was referring to.
In 1940, when she was at MGM, a man, who people couldn’t figure out if he was an actor, or if he was a stand in, but they didn’t know if he was an upcoming actor, tried to make up this rumor for the press that Bonita and him were “sleeping” together. Bonita was 17 and she didn’t exactly know how to handle this. This guy, who had a weird name (I’m not even sure it was his real name), always kept trying to corner her, and it made her feel very uncomfortable. She went to her agents and they said, they would handle it. Mr. Mayer heard of this, and called Bonita into his office. She denied everything, because she didn’t “lose it” until she married Jack Wrather, which was in 1948. So, what did he do about it? The boy was called into the office and was threatened that if he published this story or even told the press of this story, he would never have a career and I guess that worked cause it never came out. Bonita’s dignity was a little damaged. She thought, “What are people really thinking of me?”
From what I’ve heard, people wanted to be Bonita. Her personality was magnetic and her kind heart had everyone wanting to be her. Even Deanna Durbin, who had insecurities, wanted to be her. To Bonita, she said that being herself was the hardest thing she ever had to do. Her kind spirit radiated throughout young Hollywood. Her love for others was infectious.
I really liked this quote because she wants people to talk about their issues with her, not just having it told to her by someone else. I’m the same way, if you have an issue with me, talk to me! Tell me what’s wrong so that I can change what’s wrong. I don’t wanna hear it from someone else! I really don’t and neither did she.
She had said this to say in 1964:
“When I listened to people talk about me, that I’ve heard from other people, I ask them why are they relaying this information to me? They usually say, ‘Bunny, don’t you want to know what so and so said about you?’ My answer is this: Why have you picked up the knife and stabbed me with it? They are usually are surprised by my answer. Yes, you’ve picked up that knife and you’ve stabbed me with it.” Bonita’s kindness sometimes was taken for weakness, and as she, figured, it was not something she took lightly. She wanted to be taken seriously, but even she knew her limits. I think the main quality that I really love about Granville is that she never strayed too far from who she really was. She loved people, but she had a phrase which was similar to “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” She said, “Don’t lose yourself to make sure other people are ok.” She also said that in order to love others, you have to try and see the good in yourself too, because if you don’t, you’ll never really be happy, you’ll just compare yourself to others and that’s not healthy!” I think what she’s meaning to say is that you have to look out for yourself first, then you can take care of others, but I think with Bonita, she did everything she could for others and yet, she truly had self resepect- something I don’t have. She loved who she was, I hate who I am. There’s so much of her I wish I had: her dignity, her grace, her kindness, and her incredible patience. I could have tried her patience, greatly.
I wish I could have met Bonita Granville, but to me, she was more than what people thought she was.
